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from Interviews/Testimonials
Prominent Gay Figure Gives Up
Homosexual Lifestyle
David Bianco, a 32-year-old gay media mini-mogul, says he
has discontinued his same-sex lifestyle for religious
reasons.
The founder of the Q Syndicate, which supplies gay-oriented
material to a variety of international media outlets, says
that homosexual lifestyle was inconsistent with his Jewish
religious beliefs.
Asked in a recent interview with gaycitynews.com why he
decided to change his sexual identity, Bianco replied, "I
have believed for at least 15 years that the Jews are in a
special relationship with God... About 13 months ago, I asked
myself, where am I falling short? ... Where am I not living up
to the demands that I believe God has made of Jews through
His Torah and through Jewish law?"
One of the three major ways he was falling short in Jewish
life, he said, was in having sex with men.
Also, the gay community has "overly glorified sex to the
point that it's expected to be the most important piece of
our lives... I don't accept that it's natural for us or that
it's what God wants for us."
"All along," Bianco said, "I had a belief that God had given
the Torah to the Jewish people ...I took my situation to a
rabbi, who I trusted and admired, and asked for advice, and
the rabbi propositioned me."
This was a key moment for him, in which he came to the
conclusion that "the liberal... approach to homosexuality
and Judaism was completely bankrupt."
Although Bianco has sold most of his Q Syndicate to a New
Jersey marketing firm, he continues to write his somewhat
politically conservative "Over the Rainbow" column. In one
recent column, he came out strongly against gays and
lesbians having families. This decision deprives their
children of an opposite-sex parent, he said, and is
ultimately "selfish."
His decision to leave gay life was also facilitated by the
fact that he also feels some attraction to women. But when
he was told by gay friends that his new, religiously
motivated lifestyle will not work, he responded, "Was what I
was doing before...did that work?"
Bianco said he wants to "let those who may be facing a
similar conundrum understand that it is a reasonable way to
go. And I get letters all the time from people like that."
He said the gay community's "narrow definitions are as
constricting and as oppressive as the norms that the gay
community was rebelling against in the first place."
Bianco views heterosexuality as an integral part of the
teachings of Judaism. "I rejected all the unsuccessful
attempts to reconcile traditional Judaism with gay sex and
gay relationships. And I decided to take more seriously the
demands that I believe God has made on the Jewish people in
terms of how we live out our sexual feelings."
He also says that, although he doesn't "give speeches urging
all Jews to follow my lead," he does believe that "the Torah
is for all Jews--Reform, Conservative, Orthodox, secular."
Bianco acknowledges that there are married Jewish men who
are involved in homosexual activity, and he has a word of
advice for them. "Actually, I would advocate that someone
in that situation should talk to his rabbi and figure out
how to handle it. It's tricky...I acknowledge that it's very
difficult but also very important. I'm trying, and I think
it's working." He added that he is "trying to be better
than my base impulses, to rise above them."
Asked point blank if he intends to become "an ex-gay
activist" who would "embarrass the gay community," Bianco
stressed that he still remains sympathetic to the homosexual
community, and said he hopes to help bridge the gap between
the two groups, with his main thrust being an outreach
towards the Jewish community.
He acknowledged that his work might be seen as threatening
to gays, and he noted that "I don't relish that." But if
they keep listening, he said, he believes they'll come to a
"general respect" for what he's doing.
"I might even win you someday," he added.
To read the complete interview with David Bianco, from which
the above quotes were taken, please refer to:
gaycitynews.com/takingthegayout.html.
Updated: 8 February 2008
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