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from Parenting & Family
Polyamorists Want Rights, Too
By Warren Throckmorton, Ph.D.
After the Massachusetts Supreme Judicial Court's decision requiring
Massachusetts to recognize gay marriage, I wrote a column called, "The Binary
Nature of Marriage: The Point of Two." Based on the logic of the Massachusetts'
court, I reasoned if the male-female union is no longer vital to the legal
definition of marriage, then nothing is sacred about the number Two, as in a
couple.
Many of my critics protested that no one would seriously or legally consider
eroding the binary nature of marriage. Well, I think I can safely write, "I told
you so" next to that column. The "more-than-two crowd" is not even waiting until
gay marriage is institutionalized to begin looking for their place at the altar.
Wait and see: the chapel is going to get crowded.
In a recent San Francisco Chronicle article, reporter Don Lattin wrote about a
group called the Unitarian Universalists for Polyamory Awareness (UUPA). Mr.
Lattin described the polyamorist movement as "another front in the liberal
crusade to expand the definition of marriage and family in America." Expand is
an apt word. According to UUPA, polyamory is "the philosophy and practice of
loving or relating intimately to more than one other person at a time with
honesty and integrity."
Some within the leadership of the polyamory movement, many of whom identify as
bisexual, favor making civil marriage open to three or more people. In the
Chronicle article, Jasmine Walston, president of UUPA, said, "We're where the
gay rights movement was 30 years ago."
Lest you dismiss these individuals as a fringe posing no serious challenge to
the coupled nature of marriage, consider the current case pitting three people
who wish to legally marry against the state of Utah. Two of the individuals were
already married and wished to include another woman in the bliss via a marriage
license from Salt Lake City. When they were refused, the trio filed suit in
Federal district court. According to their attorney, Brian Barnard: "This
prohibition of polygamist relationships is as unconstitutional as Texas'
prohibition against homosexual sodomy because it criminalizes a private sexual
relationship between consenting adults."
Precedent is in place; if government can't regulate adult sexual relationships
in any form, then how can it regulate the number of people who wish to enter
them? Following Massachusetts Supreme Judicial Court logic, if one feels
constrained by religious belief or sexual orientation to enter polyamorous
relationships, then how can government withhold the civil benefits of marriage?
Finally, are these reports concerning advocacy for legal recognition of multiple
spouses related to the current political push for same sex marriage? While no
doubt, different same-sex marriage proponents have different motives, one
advocate of gay marriage seems to see the legal recognition of same-sex marriage
as just one step toward more diversity in relationships. Concerning the right of
gays to marry, Matt Foreman of the National Gay and Lesbian Task Force recently
was quoted saying:
"We want full equality under the law, which, right now, means the freedom to
marry. But we're also hopeful that we create different ways in which people can
form relationships and families that don't come with all the baggage and the
downsides of marriage. One of the great things about where we're going is that
we are creating new ways for people to relate, new ways for people to obtain
rights and benefits." (pridesource.com, 4/29/04; emphasis added)
What are "the baggage and downsides of marriage?" If marriage is so bad, then
why is Mr. Foreman's organization fighting so hard to get it? He wants to attain
the right to marry in order to get the right to something else. So what could be
different than same-sex marriage between two people, or opposite-sex marriage
between two people?
If you are puzzled by the meaning of "different ways in which people can form
relationships and families" referred to by Mr. Foreman, I suspect there are some
people in the UUPA and the state of Utah who could help you understand.
I told you so.
Warren Throckmorton, PhD is Director of College Counseling and an Associate
Professor of Psychology at Grove City College. Professor, counselor and
columnist, Dr. Throckmorton is the producer of the Truth Comes Out, a spoken
word CD geared to young adults concerning sexual orientation. His columns have
been published in over 40 newspapers and numerous websites such as
Worldnetdaily.com, Christianpost.com, Townhall.com, Michnews.com and
Americandaily.com. Contact him at ewthrockmorton@gcc.edu or via his website:
http://www.drthrockmorton.com.
Updated: 8 February 2008
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