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from Books & Reviews
Book Excerpt
The Origins and Therapy of
Same-Sex Attraction Disorder (SSAD)
By Richard Fitzgibbons, M.D.
 This insightful discussion is from the 1999 book, Homosexuality and
American Public Life, edited by Christopher Wolfe. The author of this
chapter, Dr. Fitzgibbons, is a member of NARTH's Scientific Advisory
Committee.
We have reprinted only a short excerpt here because of copyright
considerations. Other chapters in Homosexuality and American Public
Life are by different authors. The book is available from Spence
Publishing Company, Dallas, Texas, 1-888-SPENPUB or
www.spencepublishing.com.
For a number of years, my area of expertise has been in the nature and
treatment of excessive anger. Throughout my work, it became clear to me
that the most important relationship in which men and women deny their
anger is the father relationship. Since anger at rejecting peers or a
distant father is extremely common among men who experience same-sex
attractions, many men who struggle with SSAD have come to my practice.
My goal with these patients was not necessarily to change their sexual
orientation, but to try to help them understand and overcome their
emotional pain, which most often was the result of childhood and
adolescent conflicts. In using the healing approach that I will
describe, I found that many clients could resolve the emotional hurts
which led to same-sex attractions and, as a result, over an extended
period of time, that they were able to resolve their homosexual
attractions and behaviors.
The first stage of the healing process is to understand the operative
emotional conflicts. There are several different origins of same-sex
attraction, and in addition, there is a marked distinction between the
origins of homosexual attractions in males and in females.
SSAD in Men
The three most important risk factors for the development of SSAD in men
are weak masculine identity, mistrust of women, and narcissism.
Weak Masculine Identity
Weak masculine identity is easily identified and, in my clinical
experience, is the major cause of SSAD in men. Surprisingly, it can be
an outgrowth of weak eye-hand coordination which results in an inability
to play sports well. This condition is usually accompanied by severe
peer rejection. In a sports-oriented culture such as our own, if a
young boy is unable to throw, catch, or kick a ball, he is likely to be
excluded, isolated, and ridiculed. Continued rejection can be a major
source of conflict for a child and teenager. In an attempt to overcome
feelings of loneliness and inadequacy, he may spend more time on
academic studies or fostering comfortable friendships with girls. The
"sports wound" will negatively affect the boy's image of himself, his
relationships with peers, his gender identity, and his body image. His
negative view of his masculinity and his loneliness can lead him to
crave the masculinity of his male peers.
The second and crucial conflict in the development of a weak masculine
identity is a poor emotional relationship with the father. A number of
therapists characterize the childhood experiences of the homosexual
adult as a form of defensive detachment from a disappointing father. As
children and adolescents, these men yearned for acceptance, praise, and
physical affection from their fathers, but their needs were never met.
The profound inner void that develops from a lack of physical affection
and father love can lead a man to promiscuous behavior in a misguided
attempt to fill an emotional emptiness.
Another reason that some men have a weak masculine identity is poor body
image. I have found that many active homosexual men are totally
obsessed with other men's bodies. They often express hatred for their
own bodies and desire the bodies of other men. A final reason can be a
history of sexual abuse by older, more powerful children or by adults.
Such abuse over a prolonged period of time may have made the child
believe that he must be a homosexual.
Mistrust of Women
The second most common cause of SSAD among males is a mistrust of
women's love. Feelings of mistrust may develop as a result of a
difficult mother relationship or from experiences of betrayal by women.
Male children in fatherless homes often feel overly responsible for
their mothers. As they enter their adolescence, they may come to view
female love as draining and exhausting. They want a relationship that
is lighthearted and enjoyable and, by default, turn to male love.
Feelings of mistrust may also arise from having a mother who was
chemically addicted, overly controlling, possessive, or emotionally
distant.
A very small percentage of homosexual men have experienced such
devastating female betrayal in personal or professional relationships
that they fear and avoid female love. Subsequently, they only feel safe
making themselves vulnerable to a person of the same sex.
SSAD in Women
The major conflicts that lead to SSAD in women are, in my opinion, a
mistrust of men's love, a weak feminine identity, or intense loneliness.
Mistrust of Men
A number of women who become involved in same-sex
relationships had fathers who were emotionally insensitive, alcoholic,
or abusive. Such women, as a result of painful childhood and teenage
experiences, have good reason to fear being vulnerable to men.
Women who have been betrayed by a man after a long-term relationship
often fear trusting other men and seek relief from their loneliness
through involvement in homosexual relationships. Women who have been
sexually abused or raped as children or adolescents may find it
difficult or almost impossible to trust men. They may, therefore, turn
to a woman for affection and to fulfil their sexual desires.
Weak Feminine Identity
The second most common cause of SSAD in women
is a weak feminine identity. Three basic areas of conflict lead to such
difficulty: mother conflicts, peer rejection, and poor body image. In
those cases that involve maternal conflict, the woman usually had a
mother who was emotionally distant and who had difficulty in affirming
her child's femininity. Such negligence can lead to an inner sadness
and emptiness which no amount of adult love can overcome.
This condition is far more rare than weak masculine identity, and this
is why, in my view, male homosexuality is much more common than female
homosexuality. The female role model, the mother, is much more likely
to be affirming, to be giving, to be nurturing to her daughter than the
father to his son.
Loneliness
Finally for some women, loneliness is also a major factor
in the development of homosexual attractions. A number of women in
their late twenties or early thirties have spent considerable time in a
disappointing search for the right male relationship. The resultant
loneliness and disillusionment about men may lead them into a sexual
relationship with a woman.
Note: Subsequent topics covered in Dr. Fitzgibbons's chapter in the
book, Homosexuality and American Public Life are "Prevention," "Overview
of the Healing Process," "Giving Up the Anger," "Scapegoated Children
Carry Scars Into Adulthood," and "Childhood Sexual Abuse."
Updated: 3 September 2008
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