from Theological Issues

Catholic Schools, Teens, and Homosexuality:
The Truth Will Set Them Free

Book Review:

Being Gay and Lesbian in a Catholic High School: Beyond the Uniform
by Michael Maher (2001)
New York: Harrington Park Press

Reviewed by Gladys Sweeney, Ph.D.
Dean of The Institute for the Psychological Sciences, Arlington, VA

This new book sports an attention-getting title, promising to offer the reader a fuller understanding of the issue in question. However, Michael Maher's short book serves up little more than predictable fare about the plight of homosexually-inclined Catholic adolescents.

"The goals of Catholic education are not being fulfilled for gay and lesbian students," Maher says (p.8). His is thesis is simple: the mission of Catholic education is, as the Church explains, "the integration of culture with faith, and of faith with living."

Instead, Maher says, homosexually-inclined students suffer a profound dis-integration during their experience at Catholic high schools. They suffer a disconnection from their families, their peers, and their school, and even find themselves rejecting the very faith that should sustain them.

In each chapter, Maher supports that thesis from a different perspective, examining the students' relationships with their families and peers, as well as their attitudes toward their faith and themselves.

Each chapter begins with a short summary of Catholic teaching, but narratives from former Catholic high school students--now active homosexuals--in reality form the heart of each chapter. He caps these stories with his own personal reflections on the difficulties experienced by those students and the Church's failure to help them.

Although his approach relies on creating sympathy rather than advocating bold defiance of Church teaching, Maher's agenda is nonetheless militant. In the book's conclusion, he suggests that the climate of silence and gender conformity must be broken in Catholic schools if gay and lesbian students are ever to experience an integral Catholic education.

"Catholic high schools must create an atmosphere in which homosexuality can be discussed," he says. "It must be presented in classrooms, in counselors' offices, in liturgy, and integrated throughout the life of the school in context with other social-justice topics." (p. 113)

Gay and lesbian issues must be addressed in a positive way, he says, and gay teens must be supported in their search to understand themselves as homosexual and to embrace a gay identity.

Maher admits that he included statements from the Church hierarchy on homosexuality in order to provide "ammo" for others who are pressuring Catholic schools to support a gay lifestyle as an option. He stumbles, however, by failing to distinguish magisterial statements from documents produced by American committees. The first documents in his Appendix are from the United States Catholic Conference (Human Sexuality: A Catholic Perspective for Education and Lifelong Learning, 1991) and the National Conference of Catholic Bishops Committee on Marriage and Family (Always Our Children: Pastoral Message to Parents of Homosexual Children and Suggestions for Pastoral Ministers, 1997), neither of which carries any authoritative weight.

Not surprisingly, it is the pastoral tone, not the content of the above statements that Maher chooses to emphasize. However, buried farther back in the Appendix there are sections from the Catechism of the Catholic Church and the Vatican, including the weighty Letter to the Bishops of the Catholic Church on the Pastoral Care of Homosexual Persons, 1986, which do contain definitive guidance on the nature and morality of homosexuality. Even when citing these documents, however, Maher quotes selectively and often out of context, leaving the reader with an inadequate view of Church teaching.

He concludes that perhaps the source of the "dis-integration" experienced by gay and lesbian students is in reality a symptom of "dis-integration within the Church's teaching itself." (p.115)

Maher says that since most people believe that it is not sinful to be gay or lesbian, then they cannot possibly believe that it is sinful to engage in gay or lesbian sex, especially in loving, committed relationships. "Can most people defend the rights of gay and lesbian people and at the same time condemn the actions they take in expressing love?...Most adolescents cannot hold both of these views simultaneously." (p.115) The solution, according to Maher, is for the Church to change its condemnation of homosexual sexual activity.

Maher's unspoken premise is that homosexuality is a normal, even natural, variation of human sexuality. He uses the voices of students and counselors, as well as his own reflections, to make the case that homosexuality not only should be treated as normal, but that the failure of Catholic schools to do so, in fact, damages homosexually oriented students.

One student, "Tom," complained that his school failed to help him deal with his then-ambivalent feelings, and this was because no one was "advocating it [homosexuality] as normal and healthy." (p.7)

Another student resented the fact that "homosexuality didn't fit into their ideal of what a man is, and that only added more baggage for me." (p.99)

"Larry" described the atmosphere in his high school as "sort of mandatory heterosexuality" (p.38) and felt that "the Catholic culture contributed to a rigidity and gender conformity in the school." (p.43).

Maher describes the typical high school atmosphere as a "sexualized environment, specifically hetero-sexualized; it punishes homosexuality, rewards heterosexuality, and affirms negative beliefs about homosexuality...Gay and lesbian students...are made to feel abnormal and are forced to choose between acceptance and honesty." (p.70)

So pivotal is the concept of homosexuality-as-normal in Maher's worldview, that Maher defines homophobia and heterosexism as any negative attitude toward homosexuality (p.46), including simple parental displeasure that a child has declared himself homosexual (p. 27).

And in an attempt to undermine the Church, Maher notes a high correlation between homophobia and religiosity (p.27).

In Maher's ideal Catholic school, one suspects that homosexuality would be no more problematic than being a left-handed person living in a right-handed world. In days gone by, students were forced to write with the right hand, even if their inborn preference was for the left. Left-handedness was socially undesirable, awkward, and thought to be inferior. Then, in the end, science validated the normalcy of left-handedness and confirmed the potential damage from attempts to change that inborn preference. Left-handedness lost its stigma, the gifts associated with left-handedness are now celebrated (leadership and creativity among them), and everyone now recognizes that being left-handed has no moral significance at all. And so it will be, Maher implies, with homosexuality.

But is homosexuality really like left-handedness ? That is, is it simply a difference without moral significance? Or is homosexuality more like having a tendency to kleptomania, where the condition is recognized as disordered, but not sinful unless acted upon?

The Church does provide the answer. Specifically rejecting the "overly benign interpretation" that deems homosexuality "neutral or even good," the Church maintains that

"although the particular inclination of the homosexual person is not a sin, it is a more or less strong tendency toward an intrinsic moral evil and thus the inclination itself must be seen as an objective disorder...Therefore special concern and pastoral attention should be directed toward those who have this condition, lest they be led to believe that the living out of this orientation in homosexual activity is a morally acceptable option. It is not."

Several times, Maher cites a string of Church documents enlarging on the proposition that "homosexual acts must be judged with prudence." (p.3, 114). He seems to suggest that the Church acknowledges circumstances in which homosexual relations are not immoral--for example, when two homosexuals are in a long-term, monogamous relationship. The Church, however, leaves absolutely no doubt that homosexual relations are always and everywhere immoral. The "prudential" judgment actually comes into play when judging individual culpability for those objectively immoral actions--an important distinction that Maher fails to make:

"Culpability for homosexual acts should be judged with prudence," (Pastoral Care, par. 3) because "circumstances may exist or may have existed in the past which would reduce or remove culpability of the individual in a given instance; or other circumstances may increase it." (Pastoral Care, par. 11).

Maher lays blame on the Church for much of the suffering experienced by homosexuals. He may be right in placing some blame--but if the Church, clergy, and Catholic schools bear some guilt, it is not for their failure to affirm homosexual students in their exploration and embrace of homosexuality. Rather they bear guilt for their utter failure to form not just one, but several generations of Catholics in a genuine love for God and an authentic understanding of His beautiful plan for human sexuality.

The common thread among the stories told by Maher is the absence of real faith, depth of belief, and personal experience of God's love in the lives of these students. At best, religion provided comfort and the Church offered a place of peaceful reflection. Most of the students interviewed, however, left high school alienated from God--viewing the Church as either an irrelevant or a constraining factor in their lives.

In the words of one student, who later discovered her lesbian identity, "I grew up Catholic, but I didn't believe in the dogma. I didn't believe in God...I was pro-choice...I felt out of place." (p. 104)

Another student, "Becky", explained that, "I went through all the sacraments, and I went to Catholic school, and I wanted to believe it all, but it just didn't fit, and I think the homosexuality stuff was part of that." (p.18).

Compounding the problem, many of the religious figures in their lives provided a bad personal example. "Emily," a lesbian student, rejected the Church as "sexist" after a priest "told me I would go to hell" even though he was having homosexual encounters himself. "He thought he could do whatever he wanted because he was a man and he was a priest" (p. 81).

Teachers and clergy who were either ignorant or cowardly strengthened the students' perception that Catholicism offers nothing more incoherent rules and regulations that limit human freedom.

One student noted that her sex education class was taught as follows: "'Well, if you're going to have sex, wear a condom,'" but the teacher never explained why homosexual acts were immoral. Not surprisingly, this student found the Church's condemnation of homosexual activity inconsistent, given that the instructor seemed to imply that heterosexual students themselves would not refrain from premarital sexual activity. "It isn't something that you can feel and not act on," she argued (p.81).

"Patrick," a student at a minor seminary, reflected on the sexual activity that was rampant among his classmates. "I don't think right or wrong was an issue...for them." (p. 15) He says his seminary was more "progressive" (p.15) than most in dealing with the issue of homosexuality. "Homosexuality was discussed in classes in a realistic and even positive way...The Church's condemnation of homosexual activity was discussed in theology, but put in context rather than being used as a condemnation of people. It was balanced with social science findings." (p.15)

In the end, these students and countless others were ill-served by Catholic clergy and educators who failed to teach them the beauty of God's plan for their lives, including both the gift of sexuality and the virtue of chastity, as Church teaching explains:

"Departure from the Church's teaching or silence about it, in an effort to provide pastoral care, is neither caring nor pastoral. Only what is true can ultimately be pastoral. The neglect of the Church's position prevents homosexual men and women from receiving the care they need and deserve." (Pastoral Care, par 15)

"Human beings, therefore, are nothing less than the work of God himself and in the complementarity of the sexes they are called to reflect the inner unity of the Creator. They do this in a striking way in their cooperation with him in the transmission of life by a mutual donation of the self to the other...

"To choose someone of the same sex for one's sexual activity is to annul the rich symbolism and meaning, not to mention the goals, of the Creator's sexual design. Homosexual activity is not a complementary union able to transmit life; and so it thwarts the call to a life of that form of self-giving which the Gospel says is the essence of Christian living.

"This does not mean that homosexual persons are not often generous and giving of themselves; but when they engage in homosexual activity they confirm within themselves a disordered sexual inclination which is essentially self-indulgent. As in every moral disorder, homosexual activity prevents one's own fulfillment and happiness by acting contrary to the creative wisdom of God. The Church, in rejecting erroneous opinions regarding homosexuality, does not limit but rather defends personal freedom and dignity realistically and authentically understood." (Pastoral Care, par. 6 and 7)

Uncharitable treatment, rejection, and cutting humor wound not only homosexual students, but any student who is perceived as an outcast from the school community. However, this does not mean that the students don't also need moral clarity, formation of their consciences and training of their wills, as well as encouragement to grow in virtue.

In addition, homosexually inclined students may need psychological counseling to deal with underlying issues that may precipitate their tendencies. Many of the students that Maher interviewed lived in dysfunctional families, suffered from sexual abuse, or were burdened with great difficulties in the peer relationships--all factors that often correlate with later homosexuality.

Further, adolescence proves to be a malleable period in shaping sexual identity. Although all of these students eventually embraced homosexuality, the high school years, for many of them, were distinguished not by an erotic attraction towards the same sex, but rather a lack of interest in the opposite sex. Only after being sexually approached by an older homosexual, usually in the college setting, did these students begin to reinterpret their earlier feelings--all of which validates the Church's wisdom on this point:

"homosexuality should not be discussed before adolescence unless a specific serious problem has arisen in a particular situation. This subject must be presented only in terms of chastity, health, and 'the truth about human sexuality in its relationship to the family as taught by the Church.'"

On the spiritual plane, homosexuals are "called to fulfill God's will in their lives and... to unite to the sacrifice of the Lord's cross the difficulties they may encounter from their condition. " (CCC, 2358) Maher and others who seek the Church's blessing on homosexual activity actually sell their brethren short by assuming that chastity is not possible, desirable, or fruitful for homosexual persons.

Homosexuality, lived with faith, humility, and purity, may indeed become their path to sanctity:

"By the virtues of self-mastery that teach them inner freedom, at times by the support of disinterested friendship, by prayer and sacramental grace, they can and should gradually and resolutely approach Christian perfection." (CCC, 2359)

Updated: 3 September 2008

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