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from Clinical/Therapeutic Issues
Why Reveal the Dark Side of the Gay Movement?
by Joseph Nicolosi, Ph.D.
No one wants to be the bearer of bad news about a group that has suffered discrimination.
Statistics tell us that gay sex is often tied to
substance abuse, promiscuity and unsafe sex
practices. A significant minority of gay men also
participate in sadomasochism, public sex in
bathhouses and group sex.
Many people, both gay and straight, become curious
about this "dark side of life" and briefly dabble
in it. Soon, however, they come to reject such
things as degrading, destructive of their
integrity as human beings, and "not who I am."
Why, then, do such things maintain an enduring
foothold in the gay community?
This phenomenon is not restricted to a fringe of
the gay subculture. Even Andrew Sullivan--a
Catholic and well-known conservative in the gay
movement--defends the "the beauty and mystery and
spirituality of sex, even anonymous sex" in his
book Love Undetectable.
And in a speech to a gathering of college
students, the Rev. Mel White was also reported by
Pastoral Care Ministries Newsletter (Spring 2000)
to have said that he does not "struggle" with
pornography, but uses it. The reverend is the
leader of Soulforce, a gay group that pickets
Protestant denominational meetings to push for the
blessing of same-sex unions.
Writers Gabriel Rotello (author of Sexual Ecology)
and Michelangelo Signorile (Life Outside) are both
conservatives in the sense that they have spoken
out strongly about the dangers of irresponsible
sex and sexually transmitted diseases, and have
taken rancorous criticism from the gay community's
more radical faction.
Yet when Signorile speaks of the "rauchy,
impersonal atmosphere" of sex in public parks and
bathrooms, he is careful to note that he, himself,
would never judge it:
"There's nothing morally wrong with this--and I
say that as someone who has certainly had my share
of hot public sex, beginning when I was a teenager
and well into my adulthood." (1)
Similarly, Gabriel Rotello says he has been
maligned for his role as a so-called "moralistic
crusader" against unsafe sex. Yet he explains:
"Let me simply say that I have no moral objection
to promiscuity, provided it doesn't lead to
massive epidemics of fatal diseases. I enjoyed
the '70's, I didn't think there was anything
morally wrong with the lifestyle of the baths. I
believe that for many people, promiscuity can be
meaningful, liberating and fun." (2)
Taking a Closer Look
When NARTH's literature describes the dark side of
the gay movement, this is not done for the purpose
of moralizing or gay bashing. Our primary purpose
is to identify and understand a psychological
pattern.
Mainstream psychologists are usually too
conflicted (or simply uninformed) to acknowledge
any pattern or assign any significance to this
sexual radicalism.
Indeed, much of the language of psychologists has
been purged of evaluative judgment that could
explain the meaning and significance of a
particular behavior. A 1975 Dictionary of
Psychology states that "fetishism, homosexuality,
exhibitionism, sadism and masochism are the most
common types of perversion." Now, 25 years later,
the word "perversion" is never used for any of
those conditions; they are known as "deviations"
or "variations."
Emotional Deficits Become Sexual Fixations
But because homosexuality is deficit-based, the
dark side of gay life--characterized by sexual
addictions and fixations--keeps stubbornly
emerging, in spite of public-relations efforts to
submerge it.
Culture Facts, an online publication of Family
Research Council, recently reported on a street
fair that illustrates this paradox. The fair was
sponsored in part by the Human Rights Campaign
(HRC) and National Gay and Lesbian Task Force
(NGLTF)--two very prominent groups committed to
mainstreaming and normalizing homosexuality.
Yet that event featured public whippings, body
piercing, public sex, sado-masochism, and public
nakedness by parade marchers. Fair booths sold
bumper stickers that said, "God masturbates," and
"I Worship Satan," and merchants peddled studded
dog collars and leather whips (not for their
dogs). On the sidelines of the public fair, a man
dressed as a Catholic nun was strapped to a cross
with his buttocks exposed, and onlookers were
invited to whip him for a two-dollar donation.
How long can psychologists be in denial about the
significance of the dark side, and ignore what it
implies about the homosexual condition?
And there's a matter of even greater concern. How
long will psychologists eagerly throw open the
door to gay life for every sexually confused
teenager?
Endnotes
(1) "Nostalgia Trip," by Michaelangelo Signorile,
The Gay and Lesbian Review, Spring 1998, Volume
Five, No. 2, p. 27.
(2) "This is Sexual Ecology," by Gabriel Rotello,
The Gay and Lesbian Review, Spring 1998, Volume
Five, No. 2, p. 24.
Updated: 8 February 2008
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